Wedding Stuff

I currently feeling reasonably organised with all the wedding planning. We’re getting married in July and we’ve sorted the church, reception venue, transport, my dress, Mr B’s suit, his shoes and the entertainment. Which I think is fairly good going.

The venue that I previously posted about, we rejected when I realised that even if we managed to get our disabled guests up the two flights of stairs, the toilets couldn’t fit a chair in (when we’d asked about a disabled toilet, we were informed that ‘the toilets are on the same level’, but not that they will actually fit a wheelchair in!). We managed to find a venue with beautiful gardens, a large hall with enough tables for everyone to eat at and full disabled access. Basically, it ticked all the boxes, so we went with it.

Mr B sorted his suit back in October, because a high street shop was offering half price on made to measure suits, which he’d decided he wanted. And then he managed to get his shoes from the same shop, again 50% off. So he’d done very well, but it was making me feel disorganised because I hadn’t done much about my dress! Last weekend I went to London to visit a bridesmaid and had fun trying on dresses in a Barnardos shop which specialises in selling designer wedding dresses that have been used in photoshoots or as a sample in shops. Its a very good scheme, which Oxfam also offer in some shops, but you have to be able to find a dress that you like and can fit into. If it’s a bit too big, it can be made to fit you, but you can’t make the dresses any bigger. But obviously, they were good value. During the week I was at my parents house in Manchester, and went to proper bride shop with Mum, where they have designer dresses which they can order in your size, and then they adjust it to make it *properly* fit. I had thought that I would prefer not to go through all the faff of having fittings, etc, and if I could find a dress that worked (and I liked it) in Oxfam / Barnardos, then that would be preferable. But I don’t have a typical sized body – certain bits are proportionally bigger than the rest of me, so trying to find ‘the perfect dress’, without getting it properly fitted, would be difficult. And there was one dress in the shop in Manchester that I really liked. I’d decided that it was too expensive, but I then couldn’t get it out of my head. I’d look online and think ‘but none of them are as nice as that one in Manchester’. My Mum was with me then, and she really liked it too. So, I juggled my finances a little, went to this same bride shop but in my home city, tried it on again, got properly meausured and paid for it! It was very exciting! 😀

The thing is, I’m trying not to buy into the whole bridal / wedding expectations. Like it’s expected that I’ll wear heels on my wedding day. I don’t do heels. I can’t walk in them and I have never found a pair of heels that have been comfortable. I would like to be able to walk on my wedding day, without cursing my shoes, so I intend to find a nice pair of flatish, comfortable shoes or sandals. The dress can be shortened with this in mind, so I don’t see the problem. There just seems to be so many traditions that surround weddings that you’re expected to follow – why? What’s the reasoning behind it? Can’t we do it a different way?

6 thoughts on “Wedding Stuff

  1. Of course you can do it another way, lots of people wear flat ballet shoes which can often be dyed to match the specific shade of the dress, comfortable shoes will make a big difference to the day as well. It’s your choice entirely whether to go with or ignore any tradition just make sure you’re happy with each decision, and then you’ll be fine.

  2. I have a friend who spent over £100 on her wedding shoes, they were so uncomfortable she kicked them off at the back of the church, went through the entire ceremony barefoot, put them on to go outside and have the photos done, then kicked them off again at the reception, and has never worn them since. Mine cost £10 and were sort of like ballet shoes – I did try on some sandals with a half inch heels and promptly fell off them in the shop before I even took a step, so decided that was not such a good idea!

    I had an idea of what I definitely wanted and the things that really didn’t matter. Things that didn’t matter to me were: wedding favours, posh car, colour scheme, matching invitations/place cards/etc, live band, fancy bouquet. I did think about buying a job lot of kinder eggs for favours, but forgot till the venue reminded me the day before so just didn’t bother – nobody noticed. My friend was going to drive me to the church but was ill so could’t come, so the day before I asked my father-in-law and so he drove. I had no idea about the colour scheme, I only had one bridesmaid and we just shopped till we found a dress which suited her (which turned out to be dark grey anyway), we just used the hotel’s standard place cards, made our own invitations with Moo cards, put some dance music on an mp3 player and plugged it into an amp ad put it on shuffle, and I gave the florist carte blanche to just do what she liked with the bouquet as I was so clueless (the bouquet was amazing – thistles and berries and roses, it was fabulous but I’d never have thought of it).

    I never bought a single bridal magazine by the way – I figured they wouldn’t be very good for my blood pressure!

    As Lemly said, the important thing is that you go with what you’re happy with. You and Mr B are there, your loved ones are there with you, at the end of the day you’ll be married – anything else is a bonus!

  3. I’m so far off the wedding brigade (I’m sure I’ve got a bit of my brain missing, I can’t get excited about diamonds, or cars, or white dresses, or any of that) that I’ve put off organising my wedding for three, four years now. For various reasons it would be good to get married in the next year but I really can’t be bothered… (Mr Ferijen spent yesterday sending off enquiries to suitable places, I went ‘oh, so…’)

    Anyway, my thoughts don’t count for much but one of my best friends wore white slippers (Indian style, if that makes sense, with beautiful embroidery) with her wedding dress. She was comfy, and she could dance in them. Beautiful. Don’t wear heels on a day you have to stand up most of the time!!!

  4. My Mum loves & is excellent at doing wedding-related dress-making, if anything turns up that you need a hand with – last year she did four bridesmaid’s dresses for a friend of mine, and an unusual purple wedding dress for a friend of hers.
    Problem is that it means she’s desperate to get me married off ASAP so she can make me a dress, so distraction welcome!

  5. How exciting! I’d probably go with flat shoes because I don’t wear high heels very much at all. More comfortable and no danger of falling off them!

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