I’m going to apologise in advance for the vagueness of this post. Readers who know me v.well may be able to figure it out, but don’t worry about it if you can’t!
Moving on with life is a strange thing. You are, to a certain extent, in control of your life. You can chose how much time you give to different aspects of your time outside of work. You can chose how to spend your free time. Which activities you devote time and energy to. Its just odd when you can anticipate Thing A fading out of your life within X amount of time, and Thing B taking its place. And when you’re in the beginning of that transition period, and there are small, day to day, decisions to be made, which you can see impacts the bigger picture and reflects how quickly this transition will occur.
At the moment I still want to be involved with Thing A, but I can imagine it becoming a much smaller part of my life within a few years. And I know that I will miss it. But on the other hand, I am looking forward to developing and moving onto Thing B. But I don’t want the transition to happen too quickly. So I feel very conscious of this when making these small decisions about how to devote my time. I want to ideally be able to participate in both Things at the same time for a period of time, but I know that I will be stupidly busy if I do that. So I need to try to find a balance which suits me now. Its just difficult.