Monthly Archives: November 2007

A fresh start?

I’ve been thinking for a while that the title of this blog isn’t quite in tune with me anymore. I’m no longer the excited, bouncy girl I was when I started this blog. I’ve matured, grown up, calmed down. The Excited Rainbow Girl nickname was developed amongst a group of friends at uni, when I was very bouncy – I was basically on a high after having actually found people at uni who I could relate to, who included me and were nice! Having spent the first term being unsuccessful at finding such people, and getting to the point where I considered quitting, finding great friends, housemates and a social life was fantastic! So I was on a natural high. And soon developed a reputation for being excitable and bouncy, which then developed into my blog.

But since then I’ve calmed down considerable. Yes, I can still get excited and bouncy, but not as much. I no longer feel that its representative of me. So, I’m looking for suggestions. I’d like to be still recognisable – so there is some sort of a link between Excited Rainbow Girl and the new name. Maybe using the same ERG initials. Or maybe keeping the rainbow bit. Thats the element I’m most likely to keep. But basically I’m open to suggestions. I should warn you – I might be a bit fussy – a friend has just spent a while coming up with suggestions and I’ve rejected / laughed at all of them! But don’t let that stop you commenting. I’m open to all suggestions!

Things I have been reminded of today

* Arterial blood pressure is quite high in real terms, and can create a considerable mess!

* Don’t step too close to ‘the line’ – it could end up in a different type of mess!

* Upward spirals are better than downward spirals.

* Be thankful for what you have.

* Working nights and therefore being knackered, decreases your day to day coping skills.

* It is always worth persevering in a hunt for a tin opener (unfortunately it wasn’t a situation I was comfortable resorting to my pen knife! 😉 ).

* Friends are good at telling you when you’re talking crap.

* Ben and Jerry’s Caramel icecream is great!

Change Your World

Are you down to your last ray of hope,
Well they say that’s the moment things turn around,
Don’t you give up the fight, you can cope,
you can be so amazingly strong

And you can’t let go
You have come so far
And I know that its been rough
But your patience has to pay
And it can’t be soon enough
And if I could have my way
I would change your world
I’d change it right away
I want to change your world

And you’re tired of chasing love
‘cos it never seems to stay
and it can’t be soon enough
and if I could have my way
I would change your world
I’d change it right away

Are you down to your last drop of love
Even so you should give it away
Let it sail with your dreams to the sun
And return to your laden with promise

Are you down to your last weary smile
So put it on now and wear it with dignity
It’s time to walk one more mile
Very soon there are going to be changes

Change Your World, Martyn Joseph.

Housing

I’m currently living in NHS accommodation, which is fine for the short term but I’d always planned to move out with a friend in the next few months. This plan, however has changed countless times over the past month, and its beginning to drive me crazy.

Initially I was going to move in with friend A. Friend A then asked if I minded her boyfriend, who shes been going out with for 6 months, moving in with us. I said I’d think about it, and spoke to friend B, who said I might be able to live with her and her friends. So I replied to friend A saying ‘Um, no, if you want to live with your boyfriend, then fine but I’m not getting in the middle!’. She then sent a message back saying ‘oh, forgot to tell you, my boyfriend’s job fell through, so he won’t be moving in with me anymore – let me know what you want to do’. I was then stuck in the middle of 2 housing options, left wondering who I could best live with. Then before I had chance to make a decision, friend A came back to me saying that she was back to living with her boyfriend again, and hoped that I could move in with my other friend. Friend B said she’d talk to her friend about it, and check that this was alright with her. Friend B’s friend then backed out of living with friend B, so she then we agreed we’d live together. Which meant that everything was fine. For all of a week.

Friend C asked me last night if I minded her moving in with me and Friend B. I said no at the time, because at the time I couldn’t see any problems with it. Since then, however I have done. I’m not going to go into many of the details here, but basically myself and friend B are v.different in many respects, but we get on well together. Friend B and C are both v.similar, and get on v.v.well together. And friend C tends to enhance the characteristics in friend B, which mean that my personality clashes with hers and I get left feeling uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I do get on with both of them to an extent and considering we’re all going to be working shifts, then we won’t be spending a huge amount of time together as a threesome. And as I’m only just making these friendships, I don’t really want to spoil it all by announcing I don’t want to live with them.

Anyone who knows me well, will know that I can’t stand things being uncertain. I have to plan what I’m doing. When I was little and we’d go to visit family down south every holiday, I’d always be nagging my mum for ages beforehand to know exactly when we were travelling where. I think I am slightly better at coping with uncertainty now – it comes with living a hectic, haphazard student life – but still, all these changes to my housing situation are driving me absolutely crazy! And now it feels worse than before, because its me who has to make the decision about whether or not I could cope with living with both of them – I’m not just waiting on somebody else to get back to me.