I’m currently living in NHS accommodation, which is fine for the short term but I’d always planned to move out with a friend in the next few months. This plan, however has changed countless times over the past month, and its beginning to drive me crazy.
Initially I was going to move in with friend A. Friend A then asked if I minded her boyfriend, who shes been going out with for 6 months, moving in with us. I said I’d think about it, and spoke to friend B, who said I might be able to live with her and her friends. So I replied to friend A saying ‘Um, no, if you want to live with your boyfriend, then fine but I’m not getting in the middle!’. She then sent a message back saying ‘oh, forgot to tell you, my boyfriend’s job fell through, so he won’t be moving in with me anymore – let me know what you want to do’. I was then stuck in the middle of 2 housing options, left wondering who I could best live with. Then before I had chance to make a decision, friend A came back to me saying that she was back to living with her boyfriend again, and hoped that I could move in with my other friend. Friend B said she’d talk to her friend about it, and check that this was alright with her. Friend B’s friend then backed out of living with friend B, so she then we agreed we’d live together. Which meant that everything was fine. For all of a week.
Friend C asked me last night if I minded her moving in with me and Friend B. I said no at the time, because at the time I couldn’t see any problems with it. Since then, however I have done. I’m not going to go into many of the details here, but basically myself and friend B are v.different in many respects, but we get on well together. Friend B and C are both v.similar, and get on v.v.well together. And friend C tends to enhance the characteristics in friend B, which mean that my personality clashes with hers and I get left feeling uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I do get on with both of them to an extent and considering we’re all going to be working shifts, then we won’t be spending a huge amount of time together as a threesome. And as I’m only just making these friendships, I don’t really want to spoil it all by announcing I don’t want to live with them.
Anyone who knows me well, will know that I can’t stand things being uncertain. I have to plan what I’m doing. When I was little and we’d go to visit family down south every holiday, I’d always be nagging my mum for ages beforehand to know exactly when we were travelling where. I think I am slightly better at coping with uncertainty now – it comes with living a hectic, haphazard student life – but still, all these changes to my housing situation are driving me absolutely crazy! And now it feels worse than before, because its me who has to make the decision about whether or not I could cope with living with both of them – I’m not just waiting on somebody else to get back to me.