Monthly Archives: February 2006

Pancake Night!

We had a pancake party at our house tonight. It was v.good – we had about 20 people here and everyone had at least 3 pancakes – so you can imagine the milk we got through! Below is a photo of one of my pancakes – it was very yummy!!! 🙂
My pancake!

A similiar party was held last year at the same venue. I attended it last year, but hardly knew anyone. This year I knew everyone. And it was very scary when I started thinking about how much had happened in the past year. We’ve already said we’re going to have the same party next year – I dread to think what will have happened/changed by then!

Anyway, sleep calls. The lent bloggings will begin tomorrow.

Giving up blogging for Lent

Well, not really. Just changing some stuff.

I’ve just had a look back at recent posts and decided that they have been far too negative. This blog was initially set up to be a place where I could express my excitedness, but recently its just become a moan-spot. At difficult times during this past year, the support I have received from this blog has been unbelievable and irreplaceable. I do value this kind of support and I will continue to both provide and (hopefully) receive support through rough times. BUT – at the same time, I do not want this blog to become simply a ranting place.

I’m going to find more spiritually inspiring and creative ways to use this space. If I do feel angry and annoying with everyday life stuff, then I will find alternative means to express these emotions. If share-able, big, scary, ‘life’s falling apart’ stuff happens (which I hope it won’t do), I will share it, but not in my conventional way. I do not yet know all the details and I don’t think I will till I let my imagination go for it, but I do hope that the excitedness will find its way out somehow.

Calling anyone who knows anything about computers!

A friend came over last night, and was looking at some stuff on my laptop when he commented that it seemed to be slow. He then asked when was the last time I cleaned up the disk. I looked completely blank. Disk Cleanup? Whats that? He said ‘oh, dear…’ and started the ‘disk cleanup’ process. A box appeared which told us the computer was working out how much space I will be able to free up – basically all the internet files which should be deleted. It showed us that it had only just started working this out – there were 3 little green dot things, which when its done will go right the way across the box. We sat there and watched it. And watched it some more. It was worse than watching paint dry. After several hours, it hadn’t made any progress. By this time it was getting late, and he had to go, so we stopped it and did a few other fiddly bits on my laptop before he left. He explained that it still needed doing (and I’m also supposed to ‘defragment’ it), so I said ‘ok, I’ll set it going before I go to church in the morning’. Well, I did. And it still hasn’t got beyond the 3-dots-point. I’m beginning to wonder just how many years this thing is going to take to cleanup the disk. The Windows Task Manager says its still running. But grrrr. I suppose its what I get for having about a years worth of internet files on here.

What I want to know is, should I just be patient and let it continue cleaning up the disk? I’m not sure I could sleep properly with the fan coming on and off all night. And, if I download Firefox, can I set it so that the internet files don’t get saved in the first place?

Resting… I promise

I’m not entirely sure whether it was because everyone (except Bimble) was telling me to get some rest or because my cough seemed to be worsening, but last night I promised myself that I was going to rest properly this weekend.

So, last night I had a long, hot, bubble bath and was in bed by 10.30pm. I then (as i have done for 3 nights in a row now) woke up around 2am and couldn’t get back to sleep until 5/6am. I was in a constant cycle of ‘trying to get to sleep, coughing, trying to get to sleep, coughing lots, turning over, trying to get to sleep’. It is SO annoying. If anyone has any suggestions on how to break that cycle and actually get to sleep, it would be apreciated for tonight.

As I say, my cough does seem to be getting worse. During our house meal last night it was sounding almost like croup, which I really didn’t like. Big coughing spells just completely wear me out and the not-sleeping thing really doesn’t help me recover.

Now then, do I read a book, watch a DVD or curl up into bed?

Struggling with the ‘rest’ concept again

I’m ill. 🙁 I’ve got a bad chesty cough, a sore throat and my whole body frequently decides to ache. I’ve practically lost my voice – not good, considering its almost always in use! If I dose myself up with painkillers then I feel ok, but the cough is pretty persistant. And I’m not sleeping because of it, which really doesn’t help the whole getting better process.

As I say, when I’m dosed up to the eyeballs, I feel ok. So, I carry on with normal routines and forget to do the resting thing. Yesterday I didn’t go to work (mainly because I was supposed to be working with vulnerable children and didn’t want to give it to them) but I still did the ‘socialising bit’ in the evening. This morning I have kinda been resting (been doing acedemic reading) and this afternoon I’m going to town, before cooking for my housemates. I don’t like changing my plans. I will rest when I can, but quite often I’ll feel better in myself if I get out and about – if im not just sat inside feeling sorry for myself.

Several friends have been nagging me about this ‘rest’ concept. As one over msn has just said: ‘please look up for me the meaning of the word “rest” and then explain why it does not apply to you?’ I am trying to do it (when I get a chance). And I promise to get an early night tonight.

Leg Update

Well, 10 days after the fall, I finally made it to the doctors about my knee. He said I have strained a ligament and I should rest it for a couple of weeks. Which is what I was kinda, sort of, vaguely doing already {sheepish look}. He says I should be fine to do necessary, day to day, walking around Swansea, but I shouldn’t do much more. He said that if I really, really, really had to go off hiking, then wear a support. Oh yeah, and he recommended swimming as a good form of exercise, which won’t over strain it. So basically, because i know how rubbish I am at resting, if you catch me doing any strenuous exercise, please tell me to stop!

Frustrated

Today is supposed to be a ‘study day’. So, i’ve come to uni to ‘study’. But NOTHING on the stupid computers is working! I’m trying to find the information I need for my care study, but everything that I try to do, doesn’t work. The screen just goes blank and complains. Grrrrr. And among the things that aren’t working on these computers, is msn, which means I can’t even complain to friends online about how rubbish its being! I’ve even tried looking around the library for a friendly face to moan to, and I can’t find anyone. So, I thought I’d come here and moan to the whole world!

Thank you for listening/reading. I feel adequated de-ranted to go home and see if anything works there.

Warning: Deep Theological Questions being asked here!

I found out something this afternoon that made me think. Someone told me some news, about somebody who had died. At first, I thought she was talking about a 9 year old child. But then realised she was actually talking about a 65 year old adult. I was shocked and alarmed, when I thought the 9 year old had died. When I found out a 65 year old had died instead, part of me was relieved. I mean, obviously I was still shocked and sad at the loss of a life. But, I was glad in many ways, because the 9 year old was alive. And then I felt guilty because part of me was feeling in this way.

I have since justified these feelings of relief to myself, because I knew the 9 year old, whereas the 65 year old was a stranger. But should that make any difference? Is every life worth the same? Or is a child’s life worth more than a pensioner’s life, because there should be more of it left? Surely in God’s eyes every life is worth the same. But I can imagine, if you were a mother, coming to terms with the death of your child, it would be much harder than coming to terms with the death of your 90 year old mother. Hmmm……

Better

I’m feeling better today. These influencing factors probably helped:

* I was in bed for 12 hours last night!!! (and asleep for most of it!) – it must be a record!

* I had a restful, but work productive morning – basically lying on sofa reading the latest edition of Paediatric Nursing.

* I booked my Greenbelt 06 tickets!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀 That alone is enough to cheer me up! Wow, I can’t wait! Although, I stupidly managed to delete the confirmation email (oops!), but I have made a note of the reference numbers, so if there are any problems, it should (fingers crossed) be ok.

* I have sorted out the organisational stuff that I mentioned yesterday.

* My leg isn’t too bad today.

* I took advantage of an empty house last night, and played the keyboard for the first time in ages. I enjoyed playing/singing what I could from Common Ground and not worrying about people hearing my mistakes.

Fed up

Sigh. I’m just feeling a bit fed up tonight. I’ve had one of those days. It was my last day on this placement, and I’m feeling quite sad about leaving – the staff and children are all so amazing. The day didn’t exactly go smoothly either. We had to call out two ambulances today, for two different reasons. Both situations were conducted fairly calmly, but it just completely drained me. The second one was right at the end of the day, I was all ready to go, and then I had to stay for an extra half hour or so to deal with it all. With these events and lots of visitors, the day was very busy and I was desperately trying to get the last bits of my big annoying folder signed off and done. The staff all kept on saying goodbye to me, and I was getting emotional inside, cos I didn’t really want to leave.

My leg has been aching today a lot more than normal. I have been trying to rest it as much as possible, by catching the bus to work, etc, but today it was aching anyway. The only time it wasn’t aching was when I was running/walking fast down the corridor with an oxygen cylinder – its amazing what a bit of adrenaline will do! I am feeling very tired generally and the hectic day at work didn’t help.

And then I came home from work to discover that my nicely laid plans, will have to completely disrupted. I like being organised and planning ahead for stuff. But sometimes I plan ahead too much, which can be a bad thing. Something important has just come up and wrecked up all my plans. Its just a pain. And now I’m having to hope that someone else hasn’t been quite so organised, to help sort out the mess.

Hmm….. I’m going to have an early night tonight and try to have a restful weekend. I feel like I definately need it.